Leslie, Nathan and I started sending messages back and forth to each other back in August of last year whenever something crazy
happened to us here in Mongolia which taught us a new lesson. This turned into RMLD, or Random Mongolian
Lessons of the Day. Some of
these RMLD were so good that we eventually decided to start keeping them all in one place. Since then Ridge "Lucious" Zackary, Matt "Epic" Becker and Caitlan "Hasn't Written Anything Yet" Monahan have also joined our merry little band of writers.
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| When your work calls you and tells you to come to the office 'to take work photos' after you've already called in sick, it actually means that you were supposed to bring in your photos from Children's Day. The same photos you put on the work computer 6 months ago...and they erased. Then, still sick, you may have to walk home in the freezing cold to get said photos, then back to the office...and then back home. Again. | Matt | December 8, 2009 | | Waiting until you get your monthly paycheck to make a "big purchase"...$5.00. The patience and humility one learns in the Peace Corps... Priceless. There are some things money can't but, for everything else there's a XAAH bank card with approximately $150.00 a month. | Travis | September 15, 2009 | | Sometimes when flying along in a car without seat belts you realize that in a crash the person in your seat would definitely die | Ridge | August 9, 2009 | | Interesting to note: A gold medal or placing first in the English Olympics does not mean you know English. | Nathan | April 26, 2009 | | If you judge enough events in one location where you don't work, you might get a cake! Sweet! | Leslie | April 25, 2009 | | In my experience, Mongolians are bad at charades. Who knew? | Leslie | April 25, 2009 | | Be ready for your computer to turn off at any time. It could be a power outage or someone tripping over the power cord that causes it, but at it will happen. A lot... | Travis | April 23, 2009 | | In Mongolia it's perfectly acceptable to not remember your ATM pin number and then spend an unlimited amount of time looking through your purse which may or may not have a piece of paper with the pin written on it, while preventing the long line behind you from using the ATM | Matt | April 23, 2009 | | Many Mongolians would rather wait for the protective plastic wrap on new products to fall off on its own rather than remove it themselves. No one knows why. | Travis | April 23, 2009 | | Maybe the "secret" pin loses its meaning when people watch over your shoulder at the ATM or announce your pin in a crowded bank. | Leslie | April 23, 2009 | | The only thing stopping a house full of flying dirt during a Spring dust storm was the layer of tape around our window frames. I guess it was hasty to remove it after the first nice day of the season. *cough, cough, achew.* | Nathan | April 22, 2009 | | Many Mongolians don't like playing basketball as much as they enjoy fighting for the ball to walk it to the three point line and shoot it...for hours | Travis | April 21, 2009 | | Mongolians have the most distinctive door knock ever, it's a cross between a wood pecker and a jack hammer | Travis | April 20, 2009 | | Judging by the 32 degree temperature in our kitchen, the middle of April is not the best time to shut off the municipal heat for the season. | Nathan | April 18, 2009 | | Nothing with an american flag on it actually comes from america or has anything american about it. See: Coffee King | Ridge | April 17, 2009 | | Ya know the lack of soap doesn't really bother me anymore | Ridge | April 17, 2009 | | Pleasures in Mongolia are simple, like toilets that flush, the smile of a child, cheese, and ice cream that tastes like vanilla jello pudding pops mixed with cake batter | Travis | April 17, 2009 | | You can tell it's spring in Mongolia because ice cream of every shape and size is available in stores by the freezer full | Travis | April 16, 2009 | | No matter how upset and frustrated the people and processes make you, it only takes one incredibly nice person to make your day. Okay, sappy RMLD | Matt | April 16, 2009 | | Sometimes you have 20 ppl show up to your English class and sometimes you have six. Those six are probably the only ones who should be there. | Nathan | April 15, 2009 | | Maybe after a strenuous leg work out you have difficulty walking down the stairs. Maybe your landlord sees you. Maybe he thinks you're crazy because you can't adequately explain why. | Leslie | April 14, 2009 | | Only in Mongolia is it considered acceptable to wear a full suit, clean and pressed, a tie, a vest, dress shoes...and a baseball cap | Matt | April 14, 2009 | | Sometimes your sitemate arrives in his university classroom to teach and finds numerous countryside dance students fast asleep. Later he is informed he will not teach that week due to the children's dance competition students....that have nothing to do with his university. | Leslie | April 14, 2009 | | Also as far as I know this is the only country where it's perfectly fine for grown men, husbands, and fathers to spend half their day in a parked car drinking | Matt | April 14, 2009 | | I love when tae kwon do classes get rescheduled over my English classes and NOBODY TELLS ME. The madness of this country... | Matt | April 13, 2009 | | Who decided it was a good idea to give whistles to Mongolian police? I have a whistle therefore I must blow it, mother of God! | Matt | April 13, 2009 | | Other things I love bout this country, shit just disappears with no explanation. I've never heard "I don't know" so many times in my life. Also, why does the internet at my work only work like one day a week. Seriously, what the... | Matt | April 11, 2009 | | Phones first, people second | Ridge | April 8, 2009 | | Some Mongolians hate the Chinese so much, they'll grafitti walls in English to tell you about it. | Nathan | March 26, 2009 | | When at a party, count the number of chairs. That's the number of plates too: ie 30% fewer than there are guests. When the buffet opens RUN! | Ridge | March 25, 2009 | | What's missing from the sinks at the international children's center that has 5 different "how to wash your hands" posters from 5 different aide organizations? That's right, soap! | Leslie | March 21, 2009 | | At some point in your Peace Corps service it will feel normal to, at a holiday dinner celebration, receive as gifts: fruit juice, cell phone minutes and a paper bulls eye target which you shot with a pellet rifle earlier in the day in the hospital conference room because it was Men's Day. : ) Good work Man! | Travis | March 18, 2009 | | Bus Transportation in Mongolia: An Introduction. Imagine being able to take a bus from Washington, DC to any state capital in the country, such as Little Rock or and vice versa. However, only certain state capitals can go to other capitals, like Little Rock to Memphis. If your state capital doesn't go to another capital (maybe Raleigh to Atlanta for instance), you would have to wait at a gas station in between the two states for the bus from another capital to come through and then ask to see if you could jump on. In this case you would have to wait for a bus from Richmond or Pittsburgh. Also there is only one bus per day, and there is a five minute window of opportunity. As soon as they gas up, they're gone. | Travis | March 7, 2009 | | Packing the inside of a mailbus with passengers and luggage in Mongolia is like Tetris...except you can change the shape of the blocks by crushing them against one other, you get extra points for placing all the blocks down the middle and playing music loudly on your cellphone while you do it and at the end you have to make all the people walk across the blocks no matter how badly you might have played that round. | Travis | March 5, 2009 | | Mongolians unofficially hold all international records for nostril evacuation in both the singles and doubles events. They have won Gold in speed, volume, grossness, loudness, group relay, one finger, two finger, military, civilian, young, old, and male and female categories. | Travis | March 5, 2009 | | Always pack all valuables at the center of your luggage like the creme filling on the inside of a delicious twinkie capable of withstanding a nuclear winter. Every inch of your bag will be pressed, stepped on, crushed and beaten on a trip to wherever. This is unavoidable. Protect your freakin' twinkie. | Travis | March 5, 2009 | | When walking alone at night, it is normal to see your huge winter coat shadow under the light of the moon and only be able to think of an arctic horror scene from the movie The Thing | Travis | February 28, 2009 | | It's hardly and understatement that Mongolians are GREAT hosts. What with all the food and drink and fuss and laughter, you could hardly have a bad time. | Nathan | February 27, 2009 | | I'm just as disinterested in Mongolian babies as American babies. My wife remains my polar opposite on this topic. | Nathan | February 27, 2009 | | Sometimes there are random holes dug in the ground for a while. As if nothing is different, just walk around if it's more of a long shallow ditch, or if you can climb down and back up and it's the only way to get where you're going, do that. | Nathan | February 12, 2009 | | 5 is the number of minutes PCVs are willing to wait before calling after the agreed meeting time has passed. 30 is the Mongolian standard. | Nathan | February 7, 2009 | | Sometimes Mongolian cops ride around the town center at 10 o'clock at night with lights flashing while blaring on an intercom. The guy talking might sound like he's eating the microphone and he's probably saying something important, but it's understandable if all you can think about is Half Life 2 | Travis | February 1, 2009 | | A teacher can tell you 11 times in five minutes how drunk he is, but his muscle memory for the perfect vodka shot is SPOT ON...without even looking | Leslie | January 31, 2009 | | Sometimes when walking home alone, at midnight, all of the street lights in the entire city turn off... | Travis | January 31, 2009 | | 1 hour and 45 minutes is an acceptable amount of time to wait in your theater chair after the scheduled performance time before anything may take place on the stage. | Nathan | January 31, 2009 | | What to do if the man giving the speech's phone is ringing the weather theme song...ignore, ignore, ignore. It's probably a touching speech, based on everyone's reaction. | Leslie | January 30, 2009 | | 50 Cent's "In Da Club" is the perfect background music for a heartfelt Teacher's Day toast. And not ironic at all. | Leslie | January 30, 2009 | | Sometimes guys freeze to death on their way home the night before and your counterpart finds him on his way to work. | Nathan | January 5, 2009 | | How To Run A Mongolian New Years Work Party: Play music way beyond a reasonable volume, block fire exits with bookcases, end every couple words in a speech in an exclamation (especially when the word ends in an "AA"), make everybody wait for at least three hours to eat, never let there be any silence or people will be able to talk to the person seated next to them, yell into the microphone or better yet sing into it badly and loudly, when it is time to eat encourage people to cram together and butt in line, have security guards in strategic locations like in the middle of the staircase and in the bathroom, have everyone in the whole place drink out of the same shot glass even if there are over 200 people, also shake hands with everyone in the bathroom, I know you all work at the hospital but whose it gonna hurt?, any time there is a pause even at the end of a sentence blast an epic 6 second sound clip of music and loop it for a while (duh uh nah nah, duh uh nah nah nah, duh uh nah nah, dun uh nah nah nah nah nah works great), continue doing this throughout all speeches and when giving awards, if possible use the same clip all night, maintain insane volume, if it is starting to make your stomach hurt turn it up just a little bit more, make the dance floor way the hell too small, spill stuff, drinks preferably, get the bosses drunk and make them give speeches, then make them dance, preferably with the American, after about six hours end the party and collect all extra candy, water, fruits (including whole pineapples), beer and vodka and take that with you, then return to the hospital and make everyone go to the director's office, sit everyone down and start drinking again, give the American more than everyone else, around 1am tell everyone they can go home and lastly when the American says he wants to hug everyone just smile and let him, he's a nice guy. Oh and take him home in a jeep, it's only a 5 minute walk home for him, but he will enjoy the ride if you take everyone else home first and then start smoking before getting to his house 20 minutes later. Collect all these instructions and send them to your friend, who hopefully finds them as hilarious as you are exhausted. | Travis | December 30, 2008 | | Even if your co-workers don't speak any English, there's always one person who "gets" you enough to be your Mongolian-to-Mongolian translator. | Nathan | December 20, 2008 | | Mongolians love rally racing and award points by top speed, lap time and most important, number of passengers. Cars, meekers and buses are all eligible and competitions occur daily. Winners are, unofficially, those who are still alive at the end of the year and prizes include steering wheel covers, hatucks and air fresheners that look like coconuts. | Travis | November 17, 2008 | | A meal without meat in it is not considered a meal. | Nathan | November 15, 2008 | | Mongolian has no word for “please.” | Travis | November 10, 2008 | | Never sit in the backwards seat in the Russian mini bus. You'll puke. And you might fart at the same time. | Leslie | November 8, 2008 | | Some Mongolian taxi drivers can smoke a cigarette and operate a CB radio mike in one hand while shifting gears, talking on the cellphone, driving and honking with the other. This should probably be an Olympic sport, like trampoline. | Travis | November 3, 2008 | | No restroom/outhouse, no matter how public, has free toilet paper. You are expected to always bring your own. | Travis | October 14, 2008 | | Drinking alcohol can be an important way to bond with new friends and co-workers. But never act like you like it. And even if everyone else is soaked with booze, never, ever be considered the drunkest person in the room. | Nathan | September 6, 2008 | | Sometimes, when installing a new faucet in the bathroom, Mongolians don’t turn off the water in the pipes. This makes the bathroom as a whole much cleaner afterward. | Travis | September 5, 2008 | | A meter between studs in your apartment floor is about right. And steps don't have to be the same height or angle. | Nathan | August 29, 2008 | | Be sure to ask how many days you're going to the countryside. If you don't ask and you think you're just going some place for a nice dinner, you might be going for four days to a camp without a change of clothes or toiletries. | Leslie | August 29, 2008 | | Sometimes when riding in a bus across the countryside, a Mongolian passenger will ask the driver to stop. It might seem like a pee break at first but as the door closes, the bus pulls away and the Mongolian continues to walk into the distance, it becomes clear that although there is no dwelling within the ten mile horizon line that was his stop. | Travis | August 21, 2008 |
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Change yourself. Change your world.